I have previously written about my traumatic encounter with a toad while mowing the grass.

Almost daily, I see those buggers hopping around, and I continue to live in fear of stepping on one or much, much worse, mowing over one.

MY friend VC suggested that I try to move the toad who lives under the gutter to a safer place, and while the thought makes me shudder, I started to consider it. They catch oodles of bugs, and this is already a bad year for mosquitos.

I decided, if I know the toad is lurking somewhere in my garden, I’ll be prepared to see his warty old self and won’t have a heart attack or scream like I’m being attacked, frightening my neighbors and making my kids laugh at me. (For as skittish as I am about toads, they are thrilled when they run into one.)

Enter “Operation Toad Habitat.”

Step 1: Research toad houses.
Step 2: Create two toad houses by burying two plastic pots halfway in my garden, creating a dark, damp, cool tunnel for the toads to reside in.

Home is where the toads are.

Step 3: Instruct the kids catch and move any rogue yard toads to the new habitat.

On day 3 of this operation, I haven’t noticed any new inhabitants who have found the houses on their own, and the kids (of course) haven’t seen any random hoppers.

I will follow up on this endeavor.

On a late night visit to Walgreens with my friend Gail, we discovered the Colgate Wisp.

The Colgate Wisp

Gail bought a pack of them and we gave them a try on the way back to the car.

Imagine a tiny plastic toothbrush with a hard bead of Listerine. We brushed and brushed, almost demolishing the brush part, and agreed that we thought they were pretty cool.

They’re perfect for work. They’re disposable, and don’t require any water.

Hmm. They taste pretty good.

They have the added bonus of containing bristles, and a pointed end if you have something stuck…

The toothpick feature is awesome.

Very helpful indeed!

They don’t leave a funky aftertaste or coating like those Listerine breath strip things, either.

This is probably not socially acceptable. That guy just spotted us Wisping!

At the end of the day, I endorse the Colgate Wisp. It certainly wouldn’t hurt you to tote a few around in your purse. It provides a quick and sometimes necessary burst of freshness that we can all use from time to time, when regular brushing isn’t convenient.

They’re sugar free, and also reasonably inexpensive at $8.49(ish) for 16.

Shiny, happy people...

As I was washing dishes tonight, Boo (4) approached me and said:

“Mom. Marissa (a girl at daycare) is fabbyliss, and she is MEAN.”

I said “Fabulous?”

He said “I mean, popplyer. But she’s MEAN.”

I said, “Well, if she is mean, then she probably isn’t popular.”

“Oh, but she IS. Marissa TOLD US she’s popplyer.”

Lightbulb moment!

Is that the secret? Proclaiming your own “popplyarity?”

Based on our previous discussion, I engaged Drue in the conversation and asked her what popular means.

“It means you are famous, and sing on a stage, mom.”

I told them both, (acknowledging Druesy’s definition as on-track) “Popular means that people like you.”

Then I realized that in reality, kids often refer to mean and nasty kids as “popular.”

Oh, the challenge this brings to a parent.

Among my bazillion other parenting goals, I now embrace a mission to promote the immunity of my own children against self-proclaimed “popular” kids who are mean.

Who’s in it with me?

I often address my children as Frick ‘n Frack.

Maybe it’s strange, considering those were the names of my childhood goldfish. (My Grandpa won them for Winny and me at Lions Fest in Thiensville (birthplace of Simply Safe products) by tossing ping pong balls into the fish bowls, and they lived for a shocking 2 1/2 years.) But it flows so nicely that I can’t resist.

Glub Glub.

Tonight, it was the source of “frick-tion” (Haha! Sorry.) in my house.

Drue said, “I’m Frack.”

Brett said, “NOOOO, I’M Frack.”

Frack ‘n Frack doesn’t have the same ring to it, so I will let them duke this one out…

Today, I cut the grass for the second time with my lovely Toro Recycler.

Not much of a fan of this chore, I am especially skittish about toads in my yard. Last time, I spotted two lil’ guys hopping around, and I just left that area of the grass uncut.

This time, I didn’t see any toads in that same area, so I threw caution to the wind and plowed through it, squinting and clenching my teeth. I didn’t hear any “ga-gunk” noises, so if I did nail one it was very small and non-”ga-gunk”worthy.

Notice the large, uncut area surrounding this gutter drain-thingy.

When I went to move the gutter drain-thingy to mow under the gutter, however, I was met with a DREADFUL surprise! A HUGE, GIANT, ENORMOUS DARK BROWN TOAD! To be honest, he didn’t look well, and he sure as hell didn’t try to hop away.

As it turns out, he didn’t have to. After letting out an involuntary, blood curdling scream, I high tailed it out of that region of my yard.

Yes – I’m a total pansy.

"Move it or lose it!"

My only known, actual victim from this outdoorsy endeavor was what I think used to be a shovel. Wow, did that thing make a loud noise, and there was yellow shrapnel everywhere!

When I saw the billboard for a Grand Slamwich at Denny’s, I was intrigued to say the least.

Drue’s first grade class put on a play the other day, so my mom, dad, Brett and I went to go see it. When it was over, I suggested we go check out the Slamwich.

The mysterious and intriguing Grand Slamwich

Basically, it tasted like a grand slam all chopped up, and served on french toast. There was also ham and cheese on it, which was pretty tasty!

It came with hashbrowns, and all of this goodness was only $4.99.

If you like the Grand Slam and are the kind of person who doesn’t mind their food being mixed up or touching on the plate, odds are you’ll like the Grand Slamwich.

Give it a try!

I went back for my second trainer session last night.

The gym I joined, the new Gold’s Gym in Waukesha is in a transitional state at the moment.

When I originally went in to sign up for it, I looked around at the exposed ceilings and – yes – wood paneled walls, I asked the sales guy “So, are you going to spruce this place up at all, or what?”

I sure can't wait for the "real" gym to open!

He laughed and said “This is just the preview center. The “real” gym opens in July.” I signed up anyhow, because I get a lifelong rate of $19.99 per month. That fee includes all of the classes they offer, including pilates and zumba, which is a great deal.

With my new membership, I was granted two personal training sessions. (Read about my first one.)

Last Wednesday we concentrated on upper body, and last night we worked abs and legs. While I wanted to give up, pound my fists on the floor and say “NO! I WON’T DO IT,” I didn’t. How could I, there were a bunch of young kids lifting weights? Peer pressure is a wonderful thing! Jess told me that today it would probably hurt to sit on the toilet. She wasn’t kidding!

I signed up for six more. Stay tuned!

It’s natural for siblings to bicker. Lord knows my sister and I fought quite a bit! I’ll never forget my ‘lil sister Winny and me tugging back and forth between a bag of “Smurfs” (so, blue) marshmallows in New Jersey while visiting friends of Mom and Pops. Winny flew off the top bunk, and landed in the exact same “Criss Cross, Applesauce” form on the floor.

She’s still my best buddy.

As a SingleMama, however, I think there is a different element of bonding between my kiddos.

The only thing that remains constant in their lives is the fact that they are ALWAYS together. Wherever it may be they are sleeping that night, they are together. I think it is special, and it gives me an ounce of “feeling better” that their family life is still (though, only equally so) different than others.

I remind them that they are lucky to have a brother or sister. Happily, Drue has spread the word on the school bus.

I continue to be proud.

“we will never be apart.”

That’s the new rhyme (with accompanying hand gestures) my little 7 year-old girl and I made up together tonight.

The day she turns thirteen and finds me highly annoying, I will shrivel up and die.