Today’s headlines are filled with stories of promising young lives ending too soon because of the heartless words, actions and at times, widespread campaigns of public humiliation brought about by others. One can’t help but wonder: What is the solution to this problem? Well, I have an idea…
In a day and age that ethnicity, sexual orientation and individualism are much more visibly diverse than ever before, it is shocking that people could still be so close-minded and hateful. On the other hand, there is a whole new method of communication – to more than just the middle school locker room. The quick, broad audience is an obvious appeal to the cold-blooded bully.
More than worried about the above, I am thankful that my kids are growing up in this day and age. The same platform that has given these heartless souls a wide platform to spew their hate from is also helping to bring much-needed attention to this rampant problem and will (I believe) save lives. While it is sadly too late for so many families, bullying online is beginning to yield serious consequences. There is no such thing as anonymity when you harass a person online.
Sites like http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/kids/ provide tools and techniques for kids who are being bullied, witnessing the attack of others, or are bullying themselves. Campaigns are appearing on Cartoon Network and others, bringing this problem to light and giving kids advice on how to react. What used to be a widely-known “secret” is now getting big-time attention from the media. Bullies in famous cases are getting jail time.
My kids are still small – only 8 and 5. Our household is centered around compassion and acceptance, but I have made the decision to engage them in unpleasant discussions about some of the tragic stories that are dominating the headlines these days. It’s sad that we have to think about it, but I want them to be aware of this epidemic and be equipped to deal with it, whether they’re being attacked themselves or see it happening to others.
In just two minutes, my daughter told me about some bullying going on at her school, and brought back glaring memories of cruel comments uttered by kids. The same things we as parents love and adore about our kids (a cute nose, or freckles) can draw plain old mean insults from a school bully, and for absolutely no purpose at all. As we talked about it, her usual bright demeanor faded visibly, and left her feeling sad… And she’s not even the target of the bully!
So, do it. Take two minutes to talk to your kids about bullying. Find out what’s going on at their school, and reinforce the messages we’re finally starting to see in the media. You never know what you might hear, and how you and your own kids might change (or even save) a life.
Who’s in?
Please share your stories and ideas – I’d like to hear how others are handling this topic at home!
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Nicely done! I am in total agreement; we need to have the unpleasant conversations. It’s sad to see your children shocked, or sad about these situations, but it is better than letting them learn on their own by experience. I try to explain that bullying happens because the bully has some sort of underlying issue and their actions give them a feeling of self work or empowerment. I am amazed to hear the stories and scenarios at both elementary and middle school. In fact this morning my 7th grader told me about kids smoking pot in the bathroom, which has nothing to do with bullying I know. My point is that I think if you are willing to have the unpleasant conversations with your kids, they will recognize it and be more willing to have the unpleasant conversations with you. Information is knowledge!! As my sister says “strap on your seatbelt, high school is coming”
Thankfully, since my oldest was little she’s stood up for others (granted, we had to explain to her that it was NOT ok for her to give her 3 yr old preschool classmate a bloody lip, even though she did it to get him to stop hitting her friend with a toy). My little one, on the other hand, has a completely different personality and has been picked on since she was little – mainly because she wears glasses and has some quirky behaviors. We work hard to continue encourage both of them to stand up for others and for themselves.
There are two things we try to remind our kids of daily:
1) You may not “like” each other all the time, but you’re sisters and you will always be family and always love each other. Watch out for each other. Protect each other.
2) You don’t have to be friends with someone to stand up for them. You don’t have to “like” everybody. But be respectful, be kind. Smile and say hello when you pass them in the hall at school or around town.