2009 June | SingleWorkingMama

Days until the Valentine Party

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21Jun

How to Apply Self Tanner and Actually Appear Tan

Product Reviews, Tips and Tricks 323No Comments2009-06-22+03%3A17%3A17Heidi
Over the years, I’ve experimented with many different self-tanning products.

When they first came out, they smelled bad, made your skin turn a broad spectrum of orange tones (all on the same body part) and were generally miserable to handle and expensive.

Today, many different options exist in the self-tanning realm. I’ve tried L’Oreal, Banana Boat, Jergens and Neutrogena brands, (because I am a bargain hunter, I usually just buy what is on sale or the cheapest) and while I think all of them provided satisfactory results, it took a little bit of trial and error to get the technique down pat.

Now that I’ve got it mastered, I want to share these steps with you! I’m sticking to the legs, because that’s my comfort zone. (Presumably, the technique should apply to other regions of your pasty self, but I can’t swear to that.)

Steps to getting a natural-looking artificial leg tan:
1. Carve out a little time for yourself – time that allows for you to run around in your skivvies as your applied product dries. (Oh – and if you haven’t lately, be sure to shave.)
2. Begin with some cheap body lotion. Slather your legs with it, making sure to get your knees, heels, ankle bones… Any “sticky” (aka “rough”) part that the tanner will settle into, leaving you with weird looking knobs.
3. Immediately following the lotion, apply the self tanner. IMPORTANT: AVOID those “sticky” parts that you slathered with lotion. (knees, ankle bones, heels.)
4. Wash your hands with soap.
5. Go back to your new best friend – the cheap body lotion. Slather yourself up GOOD, including, once again, the “sticky” parts. Rub it in thoroughly.
6. Wash your hands with soap again.
7. Go about whatever chores you are able to, while clad only in skivvies. If that means painting your toenails, reading a book or knitting, all the better!
8. Once dry, get dressed or go to bed. If you’re going to get dressed, I suggest a skirt. Your legs are no longer going to blind passers by, and you worked damned hard for it… Show it off! Just be SURE your legs are DRY before letting any of your clothing or bedding come in contact with them.
At the moment, I’m using and enjoying Jergens Natural Glow. I think it’s the least smelly of the lotions I’ve tried, and the results are pleasing.

Jergens Natural Glow

My cheap body lotion du jour is Queen Helene Soy & Cocoa Butter Hand and Body Lotion – about $4.29 for 32 ounces. It smells good and makes me feel like I’m on vacation somehow. I bought it at Sally Beauty.

Mmm, mmm.... Cocoa!

Good luck! Let me know how it goes. And, I’d LOVE to hear any self-tanner disaster stories too.
20Jun

Tales from the Gym: Kenny Rogers

Single Mama Life 3192 CommentsTales+from+the+Gym%3A++Kenny+Rogers2009-06-21+03%3A19%3A52Heidi

If you haven’t noticed by now, I’m an observer. One of the things that curses me regularly is my keen ability to spot lookalikes, whether they be of people I know or famous people.

Today, I dragged my weary booty to the gym and as I trotted away on the elliptical machine, I glanced to my left and saw who I thought was Kenny Rogers on a treadmill about 6 machines away from me.

When he got off the treadmill, I realized that no, it was not in fact the esteemed Kenny Rogers, but a lookalike.

I resisted the urge to snap a photo with my phone, because I think I may have been arrested, but the incident reminded me of a website my friend Mindy sent me a while ago. Menwholooklikekennyrogers.com

Seriously.
19Jun

Toad Chronicles: Chapter 3

Household Fun 316No CommentsToad+Chronicles%3A+Chapter+32009-06-20+04%3A28%3A19Heidi

It was a short five days ago that I decided to embrace the wildlife in my yard and somehow protect the toads from the vicious blades of my Toro.

I created two toad houses, and asked my fabulous Manny to work with the kids to move any toads they encountered to the new neighborhood.

True to my request, they found two little critters and moved them into the new digs. There was the big, brown “Toadie,” (named by Boo) whom I believe to be the original source of my anxiety. The second toad, a little spotted (and surprisingly cute) guy was named “Little Johnny” by Druesy. A third toad was captured, but his nervous reaction of peeing all over Boo earned him a ticket to freedom, as he hopped into the bushes.

When Toadie was moved into his lair, he got freaked out by Boo and hopped to the edge of the garden, where he abruptly disappeared into a deep chipmunk hole. Oops! So much for my attempt at saving him from lawn mower doom! The kids thought they saw him climbing out, but as of now, his whereabouts are still unknown.

This is the last place anyone saw Toadie. We think he hopped out and made a break for his old spot.

Little Johnny sat in his new pad just long enough for me to get his picture. We went in for dinner, and when we came out, Little Johnny had flown the coop also.

Little Johnny

Checking it Out

And so it goes.
17Jun

Toads: I’m Not Gonna Beat ‘Em, So I will try to Join ‘Em.

Household Fun 3141 Comment2009-06-18+03%3A51%3A45Heidi

I have previously written about my traumatic encounter with a toad while mowing the grass.

Almost daily, I see those buggers hopping around, and I continue to live in fear of stepping on one or much, much worse, mowing over one.

MY friend VC suggested that I try to move the toad who lives under the gutter to a safer place, and while the thought makes me shudder, I started to consider it. They catch oodles of bugs, and this is already a bad year for mosquitos.

I decided, if I know the toad is lurking somewhere in my garden, I’ll be prepared to see his warty old self and won’t have a heart attack or scream like I’m being attacked, frightening my neighbors and making my kids laugh at me. (For as skittish as I am about toads, they are thrilled when they run into one.)

Enter “Operation Toad Habitat.”

Step 1: Research toad houses.
Step 2: Create two toad houses by burying two plastic pots halfway in my garden, creating a dark, damp, cool tunnel for the toads to reside in.

Home is where the toads are.

Step 3: Instruct the kids catch and move any rogue yard toads to the new habitat.

On day 3 of this operation, I haven’t noticed any new inhabitants who have found the houses on their own, and the kids (of course) haven’t seen any random hoppers.

I will follow up on this endeavor.
13Jun

Product Review – Colgate Wisp

Product Reviews 308No CommentsProduct+Review+-+Colgate+Wisp2009-06-13+18%3A10%3A36Heidi

On a late night visit to Walgreens with my friend Gail, we discovered the Colgate Wisp.

The Colgate Wisp

Gail bought a pack of them and we gave them a try on the way back to the car.

Imagine a tiny plastic toothbrush with a hard bead of Listerine. We brushed and brushed, almost demolishing the brush part, and agreed that we thought they were pretty cool.

They’re perfect for work. They’re disposable, and don’t require any water.

Hmm. They taste pretty good.

They have the added bonus of containing bristles, and a pointed end if you have something stuck…

The toothpick feature is awesome.

Very helpful indeed!

They don’t leave a funky aftertaste or coating like those Listerine breath strip things, either.

This is probably not socially acceptable. That guy just spotted us Wisping!

At the end of the day, I endorse the Colgate Wisp. It certainly wouldn’t hurt you to tote a few around in your purse. It provides a quick and sometimes necessary burst of freshness that we can all use from time to time, when regular brushing isn’t convenient.

They’re sugar free, and also reasonably inexpensive at $8.49(ish) for 16.

Shiny, happy people...
11Jun

pop?u?lar /?p?py?l?r/ [pop-yuh-ler], Round 2

Kids 3064 Comments2009-06-12+02%3A34%3A06Heidi

As I was washing dishes tonight, Boo (4) approached me and said:

“Mom. Marissa (a girl at daycare) is fabbyliss, and she is MEAN.”

I said “Fabulous?”

He said “I mean, popplyer. But she’s MEAN.”

I said, “Well, if she is mean, then she probably isn’t popular.”

“Oh, but she IS. Marissa TOLD US she’s popplyer.”

Lightbulb moment!

Is that the secret? Proclaiming your own “popplyarity?”

Based on our previous discussion, I engaged Drue in the conversation and asked her what popular means.

“It means you are famous, and sing on a stage, mom.”

I told them both, (acknowledging Druesy’s definition as on-track) “Popular means that people like you.”

Then I realized that in reality, kids often refer to mean and nasty kids as “popular.”

Oh, the challenge this brings to a parent.

Among my bazillion other parenting goals, I now embrace a mission to promote the immunity of my own children against self-proclaimed “popular” kids who are mean.

Who’s in it with me?
09Jun

The Great Home Haircolor Disaster of 2009

Lemons 3037 Comments2009-06-10+03%3A05%3A47Heidi

I have experimented with self-colored hair for my entire adult life. Intermittently, I go get a really solid pro job, using multiple foils and even low-lites from time to time.

Recently, I’ve been focused on cutting expenses wherever possible, and over the winter I settled into a satisfactory solid color that wasn’t far from my roots from Sally Beauty.

Historically, I get the itch to go blonde in late spring, and last night was no different. I happened to be at Walgreens. I happened to be in the haircolor aisle. I happened to spot a Feria highlighting kit that I am pretty sure I’ve used in the past. It seemed like a good idea. Think about it. Don’t most bad ideas seem good for a moment?

I emerged from the shower after painstakingly painting the blue foam in evenly-spaced stripes (that I envisioned to come out looking sun-kissed) all over my head and waiting the prescribed 30 minutes.

DAMN.

“Well,” I thought, “maybe when I dry it, it won’t look so orange.”

DAMN.

After the drying process, it was still orange, but with yellow stripes.

My little redhead, in her usual effort to be honest yet gentle, said “Well, mom? At least it isn’t blue!”

This morning I combed, teased, and tried to form it into a style that would somehow camouflage the uncamouflageable. (That wasn’t a real word until JUST now, thank you very much!)

I walked into my project room at work, and was prepared to hear a flurry of “comments.” (We’re a tight-knit bunch, almost like family.) To my surprise, I only noticed a few people notice my new ‘do.

Throughout the day I tried to convince myself that there are people walking around with much worse dye jobs than me. RIGHT?

Luckily, I was able to secure an appointment tonight at Anton’s in Pewaukee.

I had a couple people make pleasant “Oh, did you do something different with your hair?” comments in my direction. They were met with “I KNOW. I AM GETTING IT FIXED TONIGHT.”

My rescuer tonight was Phung, a fellow single working mama. She didn’t beat me up for trying to color my hair at home, which I appreciated. She applied approximately 14 pounds of foils and some toner to my tortured mop and promised me it would look good.

When it was time to dry, a fella named Adam came out of nowhere with a second blow dryer. Now that was the celebrity treatment, let me tell you!

I could really get used to this.

I am now sporting the cool, evenly spaced highlights I so desired when I started this whole project 24 hours ago, as well as a styled-up ‘do. It didn’t save me any money, but I’m ready for summer and really DO plan to have more fun.
07Jun

Frick ‘n Frack

Kids 2981 CommentFrick+%27n+Frack2009-06-07+23%3A10%3A11Heidi

I often address my children as Frick ‘n Frack.

Maybe it’s strange, considering those were the names of my childhood goldfish. (My Grandpa won them for Winny and me at Lions Fest in Thiensville (birthplace of Simply Safe products) by tossing ping pong balls into the fish bowls, and they lived for a shocking 2 1/2 years.) But it flows so nicely that I can’t resist.

Glub Glub.

Tonight, it was the source of “frick-tion” (Haha! Sorry.) in my house.

Drue said, “I’m Frack.”

Brett said, “NOOOO, I’M Frack.”

Frack ‘n Frack doesn’t have the same ring to it, so I will let them duke this one out…
07Jun

Yardwork 101: Look Out for Toads

Household Fun 295No CommentsYardwork+101%3A+Look+Out+for+Toads2009-06-07+21%3A44%3A03Heidi

Today, I cut the grass for the second time with my lovely Toro Recycler.

Not much of a fan of this chore, I am especially skittish about toads in my yard. Last time, I spotted two lil’ guys hopping around, and I just left that area of the grass uncut.

This time, I didn’t see any toads in that same area, so I threw caution to the wind and plowed through it, squinting and clenching my teeth. I didn’t hear any “ga-gunk” noises, so if I did nail one it was very small and non-”ga-gunk”worthy.

Notice the large, uncut area surrounding this gutter drain-thingy.

When I went to move the gutter drain-thingy to mow under the gutter, however, I was met with a DREADFUL surprise! A HUGE, GIANT, ENORMOUS DARK BROWN TOAD! To be honest, he didn’t look well, and he sure as hell didn’t try to hop away.

As it turns out, he didn’t have to. After letting out an involuntary, blood curdling scream, I high tailed it out of that region of my yard.

Yes – I’m a total pansy.

"Move it or lose it!"

My only known, actual victim from this outdoorsy endeavor was what I think used to be a shovel. Wow, did that thing make a loud noise, and there was yellow shrapnel everywhere!
06Jun

Denny’s Grand Slamwich

Product Reviews 2922 CommentsDenny%27s+Grand+Slamwich2009-06-06+14%3A17%3A16Heidi

When I saw the billboard for a Grand Slamwich at Denny’s, I was intrigued to say the least.

Drue’s first grade class put on a play the other day, so my mom, dad, Brett and I went to go see it. When it was over, I suggested we go check out the Slamwich.

The mysterious and intriguing Grand Slamwich

Basically, it tasted like a grand slam all chopped up, and served on french toast. There was also ham and cheese on it, which was pretty tasty!

It came with hashbrowns, and all of this goodness was only $4.99.

If you like the Grand Slam and are the kind of person who doesn’t mind their food being mixed up or touching on the plate, odds are you’ll like the Grand Slamwich.

Give it a try!