Are you a SMOTB? (Single Mama on the Block?)
First, let me clarify that by block, I am referring to your immediate household surroundings. In my case, “the Block” is a suburban neighborhood (that I will also refer to as “the ‘Hood” from time to time.)
In my case, unless I am missing someone, (for which I am very sorry) I am the Pioneering SMOTB. This is not an immediately pleasant position, if you haven’t experienced it for yourself.
Immediate neighbors and friends aside, the people who know me as only the sad, unfortunate divorcee OTB treat me differently than other MOTB.
**OR SO I THOUGHT.**
I was living in a strange place for a while.
Right off the bat, when I took on my same life with a different marital status, I perceived the reactions of other Kindergarten moms as dismissive, and in some cases even negatively judgmental, despite my efforts at friendly chatter.
Am I right or wrong about that?
Recently, I have decided to discard that mentality (and more likely than not, paranoia).
It isn’t worth it. I’m glad I’m still that Mama on the Block, and more than anything else, I’m still me. My kids matter, and not much else should. My friends know me, and if someone chooses not to know me because of a situation they really know nothing about, so be it!
Heidi,
I am shocked! Well, not really.
I think most people have completely lost their social graces, social skills, etc. I have run into people who appear to be unable to talk to anyone different than themselves. Different could be a person who drives a non-luxury car, lives in a non-subdivision neighborhood, attended a rival high school (yes, that was 19 years ago), is a different race, and a different marital status fits right into this theory.
How hard is it to say hello, extend your hand for a friendly shake, introduce yourself and ask simple basic "getting to know you" questions?
When did all this judgement begin?
I have found that most people who are judgmental, clicky (sp?), etc. have more problems than me. I usually walk away thanking God I am not them; I learned long ago to be inclusive, rather than exclusive. I throw myself out there, walk right up and introduce myself, throw my hand out for a handshake and keep talking! If you stick your nose in the air, then you miss out on knowing me or understanding me.
Just remember the snobs, clicky people are humans too. They need more love in their lives (from themselves first, then others). I am not making excuses for their behavior, just trying to share my theory on why they do what they do.
Love,
Jill