Monthly Archives: April 2009

Never Talk to Strangers

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…Unless you’re safely ensconced in a bathroom stall, and your Mom is in the bathroom with you.

Tonight, I took the kids to the going away party of a good friend. They were (primarily) well-behaved, and had a pretty good time, snacking on chicken fingers and fries, and making new friends with my colleagues and their kids.

At some point, both kids needed to use the facilities simultaneously. We walked into the three-stall restroom, and they took the stalls on either end.

I stood waiting, and a woman walked in. I indicated to her that the middle stall was open, and my kids heard our dialog.

As she entered her stall, she was surrounded in stereo by inquisitive young voices:

“Who is that, Mom?” (from the right)
“Is that a stranger?” (from the left)

I replied that yes, another person came in to use the restroom, at which point they engaged her directly.

“Are you a stranger?” (from the left)
“Yes, but I’m a good stranger.” (from the Stranger)
“And it’s only okay that you’re talking to a stranger since Mom is here.” (me)
“Do you steal children?” (from the right)
“No!” (from the Stranger)

The stranger was much quicker at her task than my kids, but Drue made it out shortly thereafter. She looked this “Stranger” up and down and offered a cautious “hi.”

“WAIT! I want to see the stranger!” shouted Boo from his stall.

I looked at the woman with a smile, thanked her, and she waited for the telltale flushing noise from the far left stall. Boo emerged with a big grin.

We had an awkward little meet-n-greet, and said Stranger was on her way.

I reminded the kids that a stranger saying “I’m a good stranger” is not proper credential. Unless a parent is present, it is NEVER okay to talk to a stranger.

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A Watched Tub Never Drains

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I can’t tell what bothers me more – the leak in my bathtub’s drain plug, or the fact that the draining comes to a screeching halt the minute I open it?

Why is it that when I’m in the bath and trying to relax, all I can focus on is that leaking noise? The water seems to escape rapidly, until I open the drain.

Then, it’s silent. I can stare at the tub, and the water stands still. The leaking noise I can hear so well when I’m trying to soak away the day is suddenly absent.

Naturally, I am trying to come up with a way to fix the leak with Gorilla Glue. That worked very well for my screen door handle, fridge handle, and drawer front in the kitchen. Or maybe this is the catalyst I’ve been waiting for to spring for some Mighty Putty? Hmm…

The reality is, I am looking at another household project, which will involve a trip to Home Depot and some Drano.

Two more skills I can add to my list! Woohoo!

Create a Sippy Cup in a Jiffy

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Just try telling a four year-old: “Don’t cry over spilled milk.”

The dinner hour is usually chaotic in my house, but tonight I was trying to multitask even more than usual. Pizza in the oven, I was on a phone call, while pouring ‘Lil Boo his Batman cup of milk.

I’ve pretty much phased out sippy cups, but Boo has had a rash of major spills lately. Tonight really took the cake, as he dropped the full cup from about his shoulder level, sending a geyser of milk all the way up to the ceiling, splattering the entire island (which of course had the mail on it) and worst of all, leaving him with a large amount of milk dripping off of his hair and running down his face.

His lower lip popped out, and the siren began to wail. I abruptly ended my phone call and tried to comfort him. He just started to simmer down when he noticed the bottom of his beloved Batman cup was broken out.

Siren, round two!

I soothed him by letting him have his milk in his favorite “spooky” Halloween goblet, but based on the recent episodes, I came up with a new way to create a “lid” for almost any cup!

A lid in a pinch!

A lid in a pinch!

All you need: Saran Wrap and a straw. Tightly cover the glass. Don’t be stingy with the plastic wrap. Once you have a tight seal, pop a straw through. There’s your lid!

My Eyeballs Hurt

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Anyone who knows me knows I don’t sleep much.

This weekend I got a lot done around my house, including (thank you, Mom and Dad) getting the new paint job done in my main bathroom. (Ooh, it’s so pretty!) I also did a lot of reading, social media exploration and research, laundry, Spyware detection and removal, some writing and planning for my book, as well as some knitting. I also managed to squeeze in some Kebabs and wine with girlfriends on Saturday night, which was a pleasant escape from it all.

Shouldn’t all of that result in one tired Mama?

Oh, I’m tired, alright… So tired that my eyelids are burning, but it is way too late to call in a sleep aid, and my soothing Tibetan Monk healing sounds track is, while pleasant as always, not helping.

Ah well… Sleep – who needs it?

“So much joy in life so many pleasures all around
But the pleasures of insomnia are ones I’ve never found
With all life has to offer there’s so much to be enjoyed
But the pleasures of insomnia are ones I can’t avoid”

Product Review – Jane Max Lip2 Lip Plumper, Barely Pink

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Welcome to the first of a series of lip product reviews.

I was at Walgreens the other day, and I noticed the entire kiosk of Jane cosmetics was blaze orange with clearance tags. Being the makeup junkie that I am, I was drawn to the display and gravitated to a pretty, crystal clear tube of Max Lip2 Lip Plumper. Upon closer inspection, I noticed a hint of pink, which upped my interest.

Look at that pout!

Look at that pout!

You see, I was born with a rare condition (okay, it might not really be a “condition.”): There is no visible natural pigment in my lips. When I tan, they are lighter than my face. When I’m pale, they blend right in. Hence my love affair with tinted glosses. Oh, thank GOD I’m a woman! (It would be harder to pull off a believable lip tint as a man, no?)

As a result of this natural pallor, and based on my knowledge of makeup application, this “Barely Pink” gloss would nicely complement a more dramatic eye, which I am very fond of creating.

I was skeptical of the promise to plump, and didn’t really care. My goal is not to be the next Angelina Jolie, by any means. I saw it as an added bonus, or element of fun.

So, imagine my surprise when I applied it at work today, only to be met with a slow-building burning sensation, complimented by a creepy cinnamon/hot-pepper flavor and scent. It occurred to me that any plumping action that should occur would be the result of some kind of seasoning or chemical burn. I quickly extinguished the fire with some trusted CoverGirl Wetslicks AmazeMint Lipgloss
, and hoped I wouldn’t turn into the OctoMom at the office.

Because I’m a glutton for punishment, and because I wanted to bring you a legitimate review, I applied some when I hopped in the car for my 25 minute commute home. I was met with the same agony, but stuck it out for the ride home.

They stung until I was able to inspect them in my bathroom mirror. While there was no visible increase to the plump factor, there WAS an irritated red ring around my mouth that was anything but sexy.

I’m going to give this product 2 SingleWorkingMama THUMBS DOWN!

One more thing… Don’t leave this stuff in reach of your children! Imagine what could happen!

What can I get for you, Miss Jolie?

What can I get for you, Miss Jolie?

Shield or Acknowledge? Where’s the Happy Medium?

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No matter how much you try to protect your children from some ugly facts of life, unless you keep them under a rock or hover over them 24/7, some outside influence will tell them something their young ears probably aren’t equipped to hear.

So, what do you do? Quit your job to home school them? Hmm, not an option for me. Not to mention, I’d be a bad mom-teacher when it came to things like math.

While it sometimes pains me to learn that my babies have learned something wretched, I’ve come to embrace the discussion points behind it and talk about why the * insert bad thing* is a * insert bad thing.* Family values start at a young age, if you ask me.

Perfect example. (And this is mild, I admit!) We were at a restaurant eating dinner. The table next to us contained similarly-aged children, one of whom was behaving very badly, saying such things as “I hate you!” to his mother.

Admittedly, I felt comfort in my daughter’s horrified expression. I asked her in the car, “So what did you think of that boy who was sassing at his Mom?”

She replied, “That was not nice. You should NOT talk to your mom that way!”

She’s a really, really, REALLY good kid, but that doesn’t mean she NEVER sasses at me. It occurred to me that consistency is everything. My message every single time we have an “incident” of our own at home needs to be the same. It is not okay to talk to your mother like that. While it is acceptable to have a different opinion, always treat your family members with respect, not disdain.

She brings home stories from the (horrible, evil, but necessary) bus ride home. “So-and-so said he hates his sister. I told him, you’re LUCKY TO HAVE A SISTER, so be NICE to her!” Stories like this reinforce my system and make me proud that she’s learning a strong sense of family, even if she is from a broken home.

Generally, I think it’s better to point out and make an example of the bad than to try to pretend it doesn’t exist.

Of course, that can be tough when prime-time television announces the really hard to accept news, like the Caylee Anthony case.

It is never easy to explain to your child that the little girl she sees on television was murdered by her mother. It broke my heart the day she heard Caylee’s mother (allegedly) murdered her.

How do you find a healthy balance between the way you hope your child can grow up and some of the edge-case news stories? Or even those closer to home? I’d really like to hear.

Use it Up Challenge Update

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In November of 2008, I wrote about a challenge I was taking on. (Read the original post.) Using up the many, many, many half-bottles of hair, face, body and even cleaning products that take up so much room in my cupboards.

I thought I’d follow up.

It’s actually going well. I’ve knocked off several bottles of body wash, conditioner, mousse and gel as well as some hotel bar soaps and lotions. When I get bored with, or resentful of a fragrance, I swap it out for another one.

There have been some weak moments, and I confess I have picked up a couple of new items, but on the whole, I’ve been much more disciplined when it comes to feeding my product junkie side.

I’ve even suffered through a couple shampoos that I didn’t like that much, but the whole idea here is to not waste.

However, I ended up throwing away a bottle of some “Moisture Gloss” shampoo. When you wash your hair in the morning, it shouldn’t look like you’ve dipped it in olive oil by the afternoon.

I also think I will toss that Head ‘n Shoulders from long, long ago. I simply don’t have dandruff.

Kids Live Here, Part 2

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If you didn’t read the original post, Kids Live Here, this one won’t make much sense.

After I stuck my foam letter reminder up on the window, I attacked some laundry.

Meanwhile, Drue added to the message: Mom. Drue. Brett. Do. I thought it was a lovely tribute to our small but mighty crew.

It was so cute, in fact, I could look past the GIANT PILE of foam letters on the table!

Grant me patience, Lord... But hurry!

"Grant me patience, Lord... But hurry!"

Kids Live Here

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After a “much less tragic than it could have been” collision between my kids on their scooters, we came into the house, I applied first aid, and everyone was ordered to rest for a while. (Myself not included, of course.)

I looked around the kitchen, and realized that I will possibly never get ahead.

I swear, I worked all morning on putting away craft supplies, toys, dishes, etc., and it’s like nothing ever happened. Instead of having a breakdown, I pulled it together and reminded myself that kids live here. They make messes. I work. I don’t have a cleaning lady.

I used some foam letters to put this message in a prominent place for such moments in the future.

Might I add, that enormous tub of foam letters contained exactly one letter V, and an overabundance of Ns.

Ideas for AT&T to Save a Bundle of Dough

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Yesterday, I got a special offer… JUST FOR ME… To get high-speed DSL internet from AT&T for $19.99 per month.

I stumbled upon an offer from DirecTV shortly thereafter, and started to imagine the possibilities. Could I really get out of my Time Warner indenturement? My cable and internet cost me about $108 per month, and trust me, that is just the basic channels. By switching to DirecTV and AT&T, I could slash my monthly cost by about $38.

So I called AT&T to sign up for this super deal, and eagerly blurted out my offer code. The fellow on the phone was extremely friendly, and he said “I just need some basic information to see if this service is available in your area.”

“But I got this offer in the mail – at my house,” I said.

“I understand that, but I still need to check.”

As he asked me more questions about the offer price, why I was looking to change, etc., and after about 10 minutes of conversation apologized profusely that the service is not available in my area.

So, the phone guy has the power to determine the availability of the service by typing in my address, but some other system elected to send me a promotion for something I am not eligible for.

Even with bulk mail rates, if every one of the 350 houses in my neighborhood got one of these mailings, that was a huge waste of money.

Not to mention, I wasted time calling to redeem an offer that was “just for me,” only to be shot down, which irritated me.

So, as a now disappointed non-customer, I suggest AT&T revisit their direct mail marketing strategies. If the letter stated “Call now to see if you’re eligible” rather than making a false claim that this was an offer tailored to me, I would have gone into the whole process with the knowledge it might not pan out.