SingleWorkingMama

• 27Dec

  Santa Brought More to Dad’s House

  Kids, Single Mama Life 1301 Commenthttp://singleworkingmama.com/2008/12/27/santa-brought-more-to-dads-house/Santa+Brought+More+to+Dad%27s+House2008-12-28+04%3A51%3A47Heidi

  Yes, it is true.  I got the report during my “goodnight” phone call, and the words caught me off guard.  All I could say was “Oh…”  Drat!  I hate it when I’m left speechless by a six year-old!

  I hung up the phone and realized this discrepancy was likely to spawn a series of questions.  I thought long and hard, and came up with a strategy…

  Sure enough, the topic reared its ugly head again today.  My daughter and I had a very candid talk about the fact that Santa watches the kids all year, but also watches the parents.  Santa clearly has watched me struggle with too much “stuff,” and my ongoing attempts to get organized.  Instead of bringing in a ton of new stuff, he brought some gifts that will help yield new things…  Creativity (Crayola Color Explosion Glow Board), art projects (which are a gift to me!) (Bendaroos), and together time (Space Scooter Snowboard).

  Guess what?  My line of reasoning was accepted with enthusiasm, and I feel better.  It isn’t a competition, and I’m actually a little miffed at myself for feeling uneasy about it for even a moment. 

  Tags: santa, two houses

• 25Dec

  The Stroller and Sunglasses Theory

  Cheap Thrill of the Moment, Money Saving Mama 118No Commentshttp://singleworkingmama.com/2008/12/25/the-stroller-and-sunglasses-theory/The+Stroller+and+Sunglasses+Theory2008-12-26+01%3A40%3A38Heidi

  I have many theories, and one of the strongest is the Stroller and Sunglasses theory.

  The basic premise of the S&S Theory is simple:

  Do not buy expensive strollers or sunglasses.

  Let’s start with Strollers – my extensive practical research:

  $$$$ vs. $ Strollers…	$$$$ Stroller	$ Stroller
  Susceptible to being struck by your car in your garage (see exhibit A below)	Yes	Yes
  Attracts stains of all kinds	Yes	Yes
  Surround Sound	Yes	No
  Carries your child from the car to the mall, through the zoo, around the block	Yes	Yes
  Invites theft from public stroller parks at the zoo train, museums and other non-stroller-friendly places	Yes	No
  Likely to be thrown up on at some point	Yes	Yes
  Will be obsolete in the stroller world within 6 months	Yes	Yes
  Cute designs available	Yes	Yes

  
  Exhibit A - General stroller shot, close up of wheel hit by my van.Sunglasses are about the same. Well, unless you consider the risks of eye damage with the use of el-cheapo sunglasses:

  $$$$ vs. $ Sunglasses…	$$$$ Sunglasses	$ Sunglasses
  Likely to get lost	Yes	Yes
  Likely to break if you sit on them	Yes	Yes
  Okay-looking	Yes	Yes
  Get dirty	Yes	Yes
  Invites auto break-ins if left in sight	Yes	No
  Provide quality UV protection	Potentially	No way
  Will be obsolete in the sunglass fashion world within 6 months	Yes	Yes

  
  Exhibit B - Acceptably fashionable (to me, at least) sunglasses purchased for $1 at the Dollar Tree. Yes – $1. At this rate, sunglasses are nearly disposable.

  Tags: cheap, stroller, sunglasses

• 23Dec

  Never say “Never!”

  Single Mama Life 1146 Commentshttp://singleworkingmama.com/2008/12/23/never-say-never/Never+say+%22Never%21%222008-12-23+10%3A28%3A36Heidi

  Before I was a single mama, there were things I wouldn’t (and thought couldn’t) do…  But, when you’re pulling double duty as Mama and “Man of the House,” there are times you don’t have a choice.

  I thought I’d share a list of my accomplishments, and some things I have overcome over the past two years:

  • Dead Mouse Disposal: My daughter spotted a very dead mouse in the yard.  Afraid the dog would grab it, I swiftly removed it with the pooper-scooper.  Fling!  Into the back treeline it went.  I admit, I screamed like a girl when I flung it.  That’s okay.  I am a girl.
  • Spider, Moth and Praying Mantis Removal: My parents regale their friends with tales of my sister’s and my blood-curdling screams as teenagers, at any given hour that we’d spot a spider or centipede.  I can now swipe, squish and flush a spider while proclaiming “See? There’s nothing to be afraid of!” to my kids.  We have used a variety of tupperware containers to capture and release a variety of flying critters as well. I haven’t come across a centipede in my house yet, and let’s hope I don’t.  Those will always give me the willies.
  • Storm Door Handle Repair: Allow me to say that handle has fallen off regularly for about 8 years.  A number of people have tried a number of repair methods, but it was my frustration that led to gluing it on with Gorilla Glue.  It hasn’t budged in about a year now!
  • Clogged Washing Machine Bailing: A tiny sock slipped over the tub and into the drain.  I saw water rising fast and could only think of my drywalled basement ceiling below it.  An old Tupperware pitcher and several trips to the sink, followed by a call to the repairman did the trick.
  • Leaking Roof in the Baby’s Closet at 10 p.m. on a Saturday Night: Upon arriving home on a rainy, rainy night, I heard “Drip!  Drip!  Drip!” coming from my son’s closet.  He was at his dad’s.  The solution?  Large metal bowl.  Tears. Martini.  Bed.  (Next day, dehumidifier in closet, and a call to the repairman.)
  • Leaking Dishwasher: Tears.  No martini this time… It was morning. Botched diagnosis, wrong part(s) and eight weeks (not a lie) of hand washing dishes.  It wasn’t that bad, but I was a happy lady when it was finally resolved!
  • Mowing the lawn (These skills are emerging.  I still can’t handle dodging toads in the yard.)
  • Snow removal (I don’t love it, and yes, sometimes I call for aid. But I’m learning.)
  • Turning the outside water on and off
  • Assembling shelves
  • Assembling furniture (IKEA, baby!)
  • Checking out scary noises

  Single mamas, I want to hear from you: What have you done to surprise yourself when it comes to tasks that are undesirable or were previously handled by someone else?

  Tags: accomplishment, leak, man of the house, mouse, spider

• 19Dec

  Snow Removal 103 – Don’t Be a Martyr

  Tips and Tricks 1101 Commenthttp://singleworkingmama.com/2008/12/19/snow-removal-103-dont-be-a-martyr/Snow+Removal+103+-+Don%27t+Be+a+Martyr2008-12-19+22%3A59%3A01Heidi

  I know I said I was going to do all of my own snow removal this winter, but today I realized that I simply can’t do it when we get 12 inches of heavy, wet snow.

  Somehow, I was able to carve a small and pathetic rectangle in the middle of my driveway with my snowblower, but when I got to the famous City Plow dump, I was stopped dead in my tracks. There was simply no way I was going to get through that. I also didn’t have any low-dose aspirin on hand. Having a heart attack would really ruin the snow day for the kids.

  I called Jeff, my snow removal resource from last winter and asked him to please help me. His business is raging, and he couldn’t promise when he’d get here, but said he could do it. I thanked him heartily.

  

  A sight for sore eyes.

  Ahhh – I heard a noise in the driveway and whoomp – there he was! Hallelujah!

  Yes, this cuts into my budget, but I think it is better than winding up in traction, don’t you?

  Tags: snow, snow removal, snowblower

• 18Dec

  Stuck in the Middle – When your kids feel torn.

  Kids, Single Mama Life 1062 Commentshttp://singleworkingmama.com/2008/12/18/stuck-in-the-middle-when-your-kids-feel-torn/Stuck+in+the+Middle+-+When+your+kids+feel+torn.2008-12-19+03%3A07%3A11Heidi

  One thing I really hope to achieve as a Single Mama is to keep my kids “normal.” It is not their fault that their parents got a divorce, but no matter how hard you work to demonstrate that to them, there are going to be times they feel guilty or torn about showing their allegiance.

  I think that as a family, we have done a pretty good job at managing things on that front, but something happened the other day that I couldn’t have been prepared for.

  When I called to say goodnight to the kids at their dad’s house, my daughter sounded quiet and a little bit sad. She whispered, crumbling into tears, that she made a Christmas present at school for her parents, and that she gave it to her dad, but that she really wanted me to have it too.

  I immediately realized that she’d probably been tortured by this all day, which broke my heart.

  The solution (I think) was to tell her that we can take turns from year to year. Next year, she can give me the gift she makes at school, and this year, she can make me something special at home. She sounded relieved. I think she was more concerned that I would think she had picked her dad over me. Putting this on a set schedule and offering an alternate solution will hopefully alleviate any anxiety going forward.

  Every day I’m learning more about this gig.

  Tags: guilt

• 15Dec

  A Day in the Life: Dreidel, Fridge and a Mac ‘n Cheese Pizza

  Single Mama Life 97No Commentshttp://singleworkingmama.com/2008/12/15/a-day-in-the-life-dreidel-fridge-and-a-mac-n-cheese-pizza/A+Day+in+the+Life%3A++Dreidel%2C+Fridge+and+a+Mac+%27n+Cheese+Pizza2008-12-16+05%3A35%3A06Heidi

  It is Monday, and it was eleven degrees when I drove home from work. I picked up my son and his friend from daycare, met her mom, who had my daughter, made the kid exchange and plodded into the house, all the while trying to use “The Secret” to come up with a dinner plan.

  After getting in the house and getting a crash course on how to play Dreidel from Drue (her friend’s mom came into class today and taught the kids about Hanukkah), I faced reality and realized my fridge currently yields an unreasonably high percentage of carbohydrates. I’m out of almost everything.

  In another time, I would have left the kids with their dad and run to the store, but in my current state of “sole household adult,” I wasn’t about to bundle everyone up and head out again.

  I played a little game called “Survivor: Fridge Edition.” Locating a pizza crust, some buttered elbow noodles, a container of sour cream and variety of substitute-worthy cheeses, I set to work on my own version of Ian’s Mac ‘n Cheese pizza.

  

  Who's the cheesiest now?

  During this process, I noticed that my bottom shelf in the fridge is cracked and falling down. Seriously. I had a flashback to yesterday, when my overzealous four year-old “helped” me by slamming the fridge door on an open produce drawer.

  Two more games of Dreidel and the discovery of a stuffed-dog-who’d-lost-an-ear-to-our-actual-dog later, I pulled my Frankenstein pizza out of the oven. It was GREAT! Comfort food on a pizza. Who’da thunk?

  One of these days I hope to spin “Gimel.” In the meantime, I will see to it that Vincent Van Woof (the one-eared stuffed dog’s new name) gets a much needed ear transplant. I will continue to concoct dinners out of what’s in the now-busted fridge (doesn’t that make sense now that I’m down one shelf?), and I will keep on using “The Secret”

  Tags: dinner, dreidel, fridge, hanukkah, mac 'n cheese pizza

• 15Dec

  I took the ShamWow challenge!

  Product Reviews 861 Commenthttp://singleworkingmama.com/2008/12/15/i-took-the-shamwow-challenge/I+took+the+ShamWow+challenge%212008-12-15+06%3A30%3A08Heidi

  They say it holds twenty times its weight in liquid. If you aren’t familiar with the Shamwow! but are reading my little old blog, I’m in shock.

  Just when I started to think Billy Mays (the OxiClean fella) might show up for Christmas dinner, Vince Offer took over my Insomnia Channels (Lifetime and Fox News.)

  Even people who know me well might not realize that I have a significant amount of hair. My mop consists of a tremendous amount of fine hair, and it has deceived even well-seasoned hair stylists when it comes to dry time. One stylist I used to see actually added an extra half-hour to my haircut time because of it – no joke.

  My mind started to churn when I saw the Shamwow! commercial. I could use this product to expedite my morning madness.

  According to Vince, cheap imitations are not the way to go, so when my mom mentioned she had picked up a box of authentic Shamwow! I was really excited.

  Tonight, I washed my hair and pulled the large version of the Shamwow! out of the box. My first observation was that it smelled weird – like dried lentils, or buckwheat, or something. It also was not quite large enough to create a turban-like wrapping, which was what I’d hoped for. I worked around this with a clothespin and hair clip, however.

  

  This is no cheap imitation... It is the real deal!

  I have to say, I think it really did expedite my dry time. The Shamwow! was definitely saturated when I finally took it off due to the overwhelming stench of buckwheat. (We’ll just go with buckwheat.)

  The chances I’ll make this part of my daily beauty routine are slim, at best. I am definitely looking forward to the next catastrophic spill of apple juice or milk, however. For fun, I poured some water in the sink and used the Shamwow! to sop it up. It really did absorb all of the water!

  One more tidbit, however. Vince told me that I “spend twenty dollahs a month on paper towels anyway,” and that is just gross exaggeration. Yes, I buy generic, but I also buy about a year’s supply for $16 at Sam’s Club.

  Tags: hair, infomercial, product review, ShamWow

• 09Dec

  Snow Removal 102 – Put Fashion Aside

  Single Mama Life 811 Commenthttp://singleworkingmama.com/2008/12/09/snow-removal-102-put-fashion-aside/Snow+Removal+102+-+Put+Fashion+Aside2008-12-10+01%3A49%3A01Heidi

  Even if it is only December 9, I have cleared my driveway of snow at least ten times already.

  I learned very quickly that staying warm matters, even if it means emerging from your house looking like a grizzly bear in a sleeping bag.

  

  Maybe nobody will recognize me...

  Things to consider:

  • The city plow driver would deliver a three-foot-tall ice wall to the entrance of your driveway, even if you donned hot pants and a low-cut shirt. I think part of our tax dollars go to a “Plow Czar” who enforces it.
  • If you’re single and looking to date, do you really think you’re going to meet your dream man in your neighborhood while you shovel?
  • You know you hate to be cold – don’t sacrifice your comfort in an effort to improve any impression people in your neighborhood may have of you.  They like you or they don’t.
  • The rest of your body looks enormous, so why should you worry if it looks like you have “man hands?” Wear the men’s ski gloves you picked up at Menard’s. You bought them for a reason!

  So, even if it makes you look like you gained 60 pounds overnight, put on that ankle-length Land’s End coat you got when your ex-husband’s grandmother moved to the nursing home. Wrap yourself in a scarf, and for heaven’s sake… Wear a hat.

  Tags: coat, gloves, hat, jacket, shovel, snow, snow removal, warm

• 06Dec

  Facetime – Your kids want to spend time with you.

  Kids 701 Commenthttp://singleworkingmama.com/2008/12/06/facetime-your-kids-want-to-spend-time-with-you/Facetime+-+Your+kids+want+to+spend+time+with+you.2008-12-06+18%3A38%3A48Heidi

  In the harried moments of almost every work day, I find myself responding to statements and questions like these:

  • “Mom! I want to show you something!”
  • “Mom!  Can you come here?”
  • “Mom! Do you want to watch Frosty the Snowman with us?”

  With excuses like these:

  • “In a minute!  I need to switch laundry loads!”
  • “Your noodles are on the stove! I don’t want to burn dinner!”
  • “I wish I could, but I’m <insert whatever thankless, yet necessary activity it is I am doing at the moment here>!

  There is no excuse.  Laundry can wait.  Noodles are a little more important, but still – I’ve come to realize that at the end of any particular evening, I rarely see visible progress around the house anyhow.  Frosty the Snowman is on but once a year, and spending that short time with the kids is important for all of us.

  One way to pack a good punch in terms of quality time is to play a game, such as the Original Memory game. It is fun, and lets you start to see how your kids think, which I find fascinating.

  This got me to thinking… Why don’t adults play more board games? I have a whole closet full of them, and every time I have bribed friends into playing, we’ve all said “we should really do that more often.” Yet, there they sit, dusty in the closet.

  On Christmas, I am going to bring one or two of my games to my Mom and Dad’s house, and see if I can talk my family into playing once the kids are asleep.  There are so few opportunities for us to get together and laugh these days, face to face!  Playing games is one way to put down the crackberries, relax and even learn more about each other.

  There is a cool contest on the MOMformation blog that I hope I win… It includes Scene It? Seinfeld, Electronic Pictionary Man Game(which I think looks like a blast!), UNO Flash Game and Rhino Rampage.

  How fun would THAT be?

  Tags: family, fun, games, laugh, quality time, time

• 06Dec

  Splitting Holidays… What about Santa?

  Kids, Tips and Tricks 631 Commenthttp://singleworkingmama.com/2008/12/06/splitting-holidays-what-about-santa/Splitting+Holidays...+What+about+Santa%3F2008-12-06+13%3A46%3A50Heidi

  One of the hardest adjustments to being a single parent is coordinating your schedule with the proper authorities – Santa, the Easter Bunny, etc.

  Last night was the night that St. Nick was supposed to come. My kids are at their Dad’s house right now, so I had to plan accordingly.

  

  Our visit with Santa, 2006

  I have great news for single parents who have not yet encountered this dilemma. Thanks to technology, and the unfortunately high rate of divorce, every holiday character I have dealt with has been very flexible and accepting of our situation.

  Each time my kids aren’t going to be with me on the traditional eve of ’s visit, I contact the entity ahead of time via telephone or email. Just last week, I contacted St. Nick (via email) and explained our situation. He was perfectly willing to make his stop at my house the night before his regularly scheduled visit. Santa and the Easter Bunny have also both been very accommodating.

  

  Tags: holidays, placement, santa, shared custody

« Previous Entries